INNER CRITICS

In my life and practice, it’s clear that many of us have pretty harsh inner-critics. In some cases, these critics keep us from doing the very things that might bring us happiness: asking someone out, competing for a job, writing that book, doing our very best, taking a risk.

In Rick Hanson’s work on mindfulness, he talks about inviting the “positive material” to take center stage and asking the “negative material” to step back. We are not negating the negative, merely strengthening the positive. If this negative material is a harsh critic, it means simply acknowledging its presence with a quick nod, “Hello, again,” and going all out to savor everything that is positive, life-affirming, fun, joyful, possible.

Looking back at my younger self, I’d say one of my biggest regrets is that I was not a…Read On.

I did a one-year online mindfulness course with Rick Hanson called “The Foundations of Well-Being.”  For me, the practices were life-changing; for the first time, I understood how short, daily mindfulness practices build up a sense of inner warmth and calm over time.

One practice comes back to me every January 1st when we formulate our dreams, resolutions, goals, for the next year: “Making Your Offering.”

Rick has us re-formulate our personal goals and dreams as offerings and gifts.

In this practice, Rick has us disconnect…Read on.

This photo illustrates everything I want to share about having sway in relationships: the four dear friends deeply connected, their arms wrapped tight, embracing, girding, protecting, and yet separate, each individual freely expresses their own, joy, mischief, exuberance. In this series we have been playing with techniques to cultivate sway in our bodies, our content, and our work. A deep grounding, like tree roots, allows for strong branches to dance with the elements. How does this principal apply to relationships? How do we create relationships that sway, adapt, change, relationships that are deeply grounded, yet responsive to the dynamic elements of life? Read on…

Thomas Woltz, the extraordinary landscape architect, is also an extraordinary speaker. He carries himself with a dignity and calm strength and is a perfect example of someone who “magnetizes in.” His stillness and poise are riveting. We are pulled towards his words. In his Charlottesville TEDx Talk, we can see this calm strength, feel the dignity, and the magentic pull of our attention. On January 1, 2023, I began a year-long on-line program with Rick Hanson called, The Foundations of Well-Being. Rick is a psychologist and mindfulness practitioner. In many of the weekly practices, he uses the phrases “calm strength” and “sitting with a sense of dignity.” As I sit for the practices, I feel my spine unfurl, the crown of my head grow towards the sky, my ribs expand. As the physical sensation of dignity and calm strength spreads through my body, an inner sense of dignity and calm strength takes root. I walk, stand, speak, from this place. Calm strength and dignity are qualities that people associate with presence, charisma, power, poise, and trust. Simply do this, every morning for a few minutes before we begin our day…Read on.