“We have two ways to meet: virtual AND in-person.” “Hospitals function best when they serve the person AND the community.” “I like bananas AND apples.” What happens when we stress the AND? The meaningful words on either side are tossed away, forgotten. And for what? A conjunction. This is a pattern I often hear in my clients when giving a talk or presentation. Interestingly, I do not hear this vocal pattern in conversation or daily speech. I would love for the stress to be on the significant AND interesting words. This week…Read on.

Recently, I spoke with Seth Barrish, an actor, director, teacher, and Co-Artistic Director of the Barrow Group. Seth’s teaching has influenced more than just my acting: his work has profoundly influenced my work as a communication coach and, perhaps most importantly, as a communicator. Seth uses techniques that seem to tease out truly human behavior in all its quirky glory. In my work with leaders, speakers, and communicators, I value the beauty of human imperfection and rely on the skills and techniques I learned in Seth’s class. Seth used the Conversation Exercise to help actors …Read on.

Um…So! I wanted to talk about, you know, like filler words, like “like.” And, “um.”

Filler words are really OK! We all use filler words when we are speaking unless we are reading from a text or have memorized a monologue. The problem arises when they dominate our speech. We might find ourselves using filler words more frequently when we are nervous, when we have not prepared, and out of habit.

Filler words can be actual words or just sounds that we use to fill a space when we might otherwise be thinking or breathing or just silent.

Common sounds: um, uh.

Common words: like, so, anyway, yeah, you know.

When we use words to fill the space, they are void of their meaning and definition. “Like” does not mean, “to have affection for,” or “is similar to.” “You know,” is not making a statement about someone’s knowledge.

Filler words I most often hear are:

“So,” to start any story, statement, speech, or answer. “So” is often the first words out of someone’s mouth.

“Like” is a word I hear taking over our language. We hear it as a filler word sprinkled liberally throughout sentences.

First, we become aware: Are we using filler words frequently? Then, we practice…Read on.