Last week, we spoke about power vs. authority—control vs. influence. This week we talk about the only thing we actually have control over and therefore, the thing we have the greatest responsibility to: our own dear selves. There are certain endeavors that serve as an allegory and training-ground for life. Climbing is one. Meditation is another. Theater, another. We contend with our internal voices and as we befriend, cajole, debate, and reframe, we are able to learn something about ourselves. There’s a saying in theater: “Theater work is life work,” meaning the things we struggle with in acting are often the things we struggle with in life. And we can learn from them. Many years ago, in rehearsal for a play at the Circle Rep Lab, I learned a profound life lesson. I was in a scene with an actor who was…difficult. He dominated, he…Read on.

This photo of Francoise Gilot illustrates a dynamic between power and authority. Picasso: older, male, White, famous, but in the background. Francoise: young, a woman, also a painter, but most famous for being Picasso’s partner. Francoise’ image dominates the photo, not only taking up the space close to the camera, but with her expression—looking towards, but not at her partner, her mouth set, determined, trepidation in her eyes. There is so much to investigate about the balance of power and authority in this photo. It is certainly a complex analysis—a fluid dance between the many ways we gain and lose power and authority as our cultural and organizational values change, as our roles change, as we age, as we accomplish, as we amass wisdom, wealth, and respect. And, importantly, as our own internal sense of confidence and worth shifts and grows. In working with my clients, I find it helpful to distinguish between power and authority. Generally speaking, “power” means …Read on.

I am proud to tell you that in my family I am know affectionately(?) as a “scofflaw.” I’m happy to break any rule that seems silly in the name of fun. My card-shark persona, “Krazy Kate” flouts the logistical and mathematical rules of any card game to such a degree that people wonder whether there is some insane brilliance behind the manic betting. There is not. I simply love to play with abandon. There are rules of public speaking I would like all of us to break with wild abandon. The first one is so ingrained in the lexicon of public speaking that it has become an automatic, habitual, and annoying tick. The over-used rule is: “Be redundant.” Please don’t. Unless you are Lady Redundant Woman, of course! We are told to…Read on.