Last week, we spoke about power vs. authority—control vs. influence. This week we talk about the only thing we actually have control over and therefore, the thing we have the greatest responsibility to: our own dear selves. There are certain endeavors that serve as an allegory and training-ground for life. Climbing is one. Meditation is another. Theater, another. We contend with our internal voices and as we befriend, cajole, debate, and reframe, we are able to learn something about ourselves. There’s a saying in theater: “Theater work is life work,” meaning the things we struggle with in acting are often the things we struggle with in life. And we can learn from them. Many years ago, in rehearsal for a play at the Circle Rep Lab, I learned a profound life lesson. I was in a scene with an actor who was…difficult. He dominated, he…Read on.

This photo of Francoise Gilot illustrates a dynamic between power and authority. Picasso: older, male, White, famous, but in the background. Francoise: young, a woman, also a painter, but most famous for being Picasso’s partner. Francoise’ image dominates the photo, not only taking up the space close to the camera, but with her expression—looking towards, but not at her partner, her mouth set, determined, trepidation in her eyes. There is so much to investigate about the balance of power and authority in this photo. It is certainly a complex analysis—a fluid dance between the many ways we gain and lose power and authority as our cultural and organizational values change, as our roles change, as we age, as we accomplish, as we amass wisdom, wealth, and respect. And, importantly, as our own internal sense of confidence and worth shifts and grows. In working with my clients, I find it helpful to distinguish between power and authority. Generally speaking, “power” means …Read on.

While studying at the Smith College School for Social Work, we were asked to face, own, and acknowledge the power dynamic inherent in any therapeutic relationship. No matter that we were young-ish, still-in-training therapists, the roles assigned, “therapist” and “client,” create an unequal power dynamic. No matter our age, race, gender, level of experience or education, in that particular relationship, we, the burgeoning therapist, are seen as the “expert.” We have the power, whether we know it or deserve it. At Smith, we were taught to become aware, acknowledge, and work to equalize this dynamic. Our goal was to shift the dynamic as much as possible so that our clients had power over their own treatment.

This week, we broaden our awareness of our own power and seek to find more balance by doing these three things…read on.