To Be or To Do: how intention helps us to be less self-conscious, more engaged, and more engaging
Are you afraid of public speaking? Do you become self-conscious in front of a group or the camera? Most of us, even professional actors, feel the same way. But actors have a simple technique taken from the great Stanislavski that reminds us to ask, What am I here to do?
Actors know that “to act is to do.” You can never force yourself to be anything (“be happy,” “be charismatic,” “be present”). It is a fool’s errand to think that we can control our state of being by just willing it. Watching an actor try to “be distraught,” or “ be real,” is a painful experience. Trying to be something, rather than do something, also puts one’s attention on one’s self instead of on an action or on another person. It’s exhausting. It’s such a relief when our attention is focused out on the world, on others, on a task. Then, our natural state of being is a by-product of the action. We can’t choose what to feel, but we can choose what to do. Rather than “being calm,” we can take a breath. Rather than “being curious,” we ask a question.
In this TEDx Talk, Martin Davidson gave himself a prop, a basketball, which not only connected his story to a visual, it gave him something to do. In his talk you can see an ease, a rapport, a presence filled with humility and humor. His attention is on the action and on the audience.
My friend, Dar Williams, a singer/songwriter, mentioned that she dreads photo shoots knowing she will inevitably be directed to “be yourself!” Those words send her into a panic. Rather than making her relax, they make her self-conscious. How do I be myself? What do I do with my face to be myself? How do I sit as myself? Am I being myself wrong? When we spoke about this post, she was relieved, “Oh! That explains it! I always wondered why it was so much easier to have photos taken during a performance—it’s because I have something to do!”
The wonderful acting teacher and director Seth Barrish, reminded us that we could not play “being in love.” Instead, his direction was to take action. Pick lint off of your scene partner’s lapel. Move their bangs out of their eyes. Breathe in when they draw near. Take note of any small thing about our scene-partner—the slope of their shoulders, a nervous laugh, a warm hand. Notice that these actions put our attention on the other person.
In the theater, we make everything active by asking, “What is my objective?” Meaning simply, what do I want? And what can I do to get it? Other terms you might hear are ‘intention’ and ‘purpose.’ I like intention because it is the least abstract for me. I ask my self, “What is my intention? What do I want from the other person?” And the more active I can make it, the better. In a production of Chekov’s Three Sisters, a stage direction for my character, Masha, read, “she sobs violently.” How was I going to get to that place emotionally? I asked myself: What do I want? What is my intention? In the scene, the only person I had ever truly loved, is leaving town, forever. I gave myself the intention, to stop him, to keep him with me. My intention was not “to sob violently.” My intention was to physically keep him from leaving. I did everything in my power to hold onto him. I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life. My beloved pushed me away while my sisters pulled me off of him limb by limb. And I sobbed violently. The emotion was a by-product of the action.
I ask myself before any difficult conversation, presentation, workshop, interview or event: “What is my intention? What do I want the other person/audience/group to DO? TO change their thinking about? To take action on? To get from our time together?
This week, we play with actions and intentions. When you find yourself facing a difficult conversation, a presentation, or simply avoiding the boredom of another Zoom meeting, ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” Give yourself an action. To engage. To entice. To lift up. To spark. To give. To understand. To share.