Ineffable Quality: When I sit in the audience for certain events—plays, concerts, talks—I can feel the difference between a performer who makes me think, “Oh, wow! That is a great performer! What a virtuoso!” and a performer pulls me into the music, the story, who makes me feel part of something bigger. One performer awes me while another touches me. One singer elicits a gasp, “What a voice!” The next envelopes me in the beauty of the music. I marvel at one speaker and see things differently when the next has left the stage. This quality of communication can happen in many realms. A favorite story of my father’s was a description of a man passionately weeping…Read on

While training to be a facilitator at the Ariel Group, I noticed Belle and Kathy, the founders, would draw a line down the center the page to create two columns as they took notes on our work.

On the right they would take notes on “what’s working,” and on the left, “things to work on.”

This simple structure helped them, as trainers and coaches, do two things:

1) Consciously look for things that are working. Like spying a snake in the grass, our tendency is to scan for problems and things to fix. Consciously reminding ourselves to scan for what’s wonderful, what’s working, what is rare and precious in our fellow humans, in their writing, in their presentations, in their personal presence, in their communication, creativity, and leadership, does many things…read on for all five tips for giving feedback.

Are you afraid of public speaking? Do you become self-conscious in front of a group or the camera? Most of us, even professional actors, feel the same way. But actors have a simple technique taken from the great Stanislavski that reminds us to ask, What am I here To Do?

You can never force yourself to BE anything (“be happy,” “be charismatic,” “be present”). It is a fool’s errand to think that we can control our state of being by just willing it. Rather than “being calm,” we can take a breath. Rather than “being curious,” we ask a question.

This week, we play with actions and intentions. When you find yourself facing a difficult conversation, a presentation, or simply avoiding the boredom of another Zoom meeting, ask yourself, “What do I want to do?” Give yourself an action. To engage. To entice. To lift up. To spark. To give. To understand. To share.

Read the full post with examples of actions at work.