Pick Others
Last week we talked about picking ourselves, not waiting on the side-lines for someone to notice us, stepping up, raising our hands.
This week, we find ways to recognize and pick others.
Think about the times we have been picked. It’s a profound gift when someone we respect sees us, or sees a quality in us, and gives us a chance to grow into that possibility.
When my father, Warren Bennis, interviewed John Gardner in his book Geeks and Geezers, Gardner talked about being tapped by President Kennedy to be Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare. He had been a professor of at Mount Holyoke College and had no political ambitions. He said something like, “It was as if I had been waiting to see what life would pull out of me.”
While at HEW, Gardner created Medicare and the White House Fellows. He then went on to preside over the creation of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting and Common Cause.
If JFK had not picked him, he would have been fine, I’m sure, but in choosing him, Kennedy gave Gardner an introduction to parts of himself he did not know he had. He was an untapped leader, given the chance to lead.
When our son, Luke, was in 6th grade, he had a wild and wonderful history teacher, Mr. Davis. Mr. Davis was the first teacher who saw something in Luke that Luke did not see. Luke, a bit shy of the spotlight, would sit in the back row of the class. Mr. Davis said, “Luke, you are a leader in this class. Where do you think a leader would sit?” That day, Luke moved out of the back row to sit right up front for the rest of the year. One day, Mr. Davis took Luke aside and said, “You have the mind of a judge. I could see you on the Supreme Court.” A wild and audacious seed to plant. Not a seed of narcissism, but a seed of possibility, of vision.
Mr. Davis died the Spring of that year. His gift lives on in Luke, who carries that vision, that potential, that belief with him always.
Luke was lucky. Often, we carry with us, like John Gardener, a lack of vision for our selves that others can see.
This week, in the spirit of Mr. Davis, I invite us all to pick others. To actively look for and see their particular gifts. Indeed, to find the gift in everyone. And then, lean over, and offer and hand up.
Next week, we talk about the internal or “Phantom Ceiling.” Like the Glass Ceiling, this ceiling keeps us down. Unlike the Glass Ceiling, the Phantom Ceiling only exists in our minds. We may well bump up against the Glasss Ceiling, but the Phantom Ceiling is just that: a phantom.