My system for writing these posts is structured to catch any mistakes and to give myself time to edit. I write the post on Wednesdays, it comes out on Thursdays as a test mailing, I tweak it, edit it, check all the links, and send it to anyone I mention to get their permission and input. The final post comes out to my mailing list on Sunday mornings and is then populated on all socials on Tuesday mornings.

In other words, I am my own editor. For better or worse. There are many things I know I miss and much that could be stronger in my writing. So when I was asked by the extraordinary writer, Erika Raskin, to write something for Streetlight Magazine where she is an editor, I said, YES!

If you haven’t yet discovered Streetlight Magazine, it’s an online treasure trove of poetry, fiction, memoir, and art.

Erika asked for 500 words. In my notes, I wrote down that she needed 2500 words. You can see why I might need an editor in more than just my writing!

I worked on a piece I was really excited about and sent it off to Erika, still shy of the 2500 (!) words, it was about 2000. I hoped it was OK.

Ever gracious, Erika was kind and clear. Even a bit apologetic. Not only was the essay way over the word limit, Erika wrote back that she did not…Read on.

“Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.” — Gustave Flaubert. I love this quote from Flaubert. It makes me think of the small, repetitive movements of a farmer moving along a row of earth, planting seed after seed after seed, orderly and regular. The farmer knows that this calm and mundane routine will coax wild roots to descend and twisting tendrils to wind their way skyward.

All of the work we do together—in blog posts, trainings, coaching sessions, key notes—has the same message: prepare, become fluent, then play.

In the workplace, this means…Read on.

Many years ago I was lucky enough to act in a production with the marvelous British comedienne, Frances Cuka. I adored her. She was a consummate pro and had been acting professionally since she was a young child on the radio, as a teen originating the role of Jo in A Taste of Honey, and then many years in the theater and on BBC television.

The day the rave reviews of her performance came out, I knocked on her dressing room door where she sat drawing on her eyebrows, resplendent in her costume of green silk, red wig, and satin heels.

“Frances! Have you seen the reviews?”

She smiled slightly. “No, darling. No need, thank you.”

I gushed, “But they loved you!”

Frances turned towards me with kind patience:

“Oh, darling. If you believe the good reviews, then you have to believe the bad reviews, too.”

This one line sings out as the truest thing I ever heard. And in some small way, it set me free from the need for external validation and gave me the tools to view criticism with the same balanced scrutiny.

But it begs the question, if we don’t take in the good reviews (feedback, comments, compliments), and we don’t take in the bad reviews (feedback, comments, criticism), then how do we know how we’re doing? How can we be self-aware and know what to work on? How do we grow?

This week we re-think receiving feedback,: who to ask, when to take it, when to solicit it, and when to let it go. Read on…