How to Avoid Rabbit Holes

Have you ever been in a meeting or presentation where the topic of concern is derailed by just one question or issue? This is what I refer to as a “Rabbit Hole;” we are sucked into the vortex and the work that we hoped to accomplish vanishes along with our patience.

Many of my clients experience Rabbit Holes when presenting to audiences with a variety of differing interests, often doused in strong emotions, and perhaps lacking the technical expertise of the presenters. To be clear, Rabbit Holes are part of every important negotiation! And the points that people bring up are valid…they just can’t necessarily be addressed and resolved in the allotted time. And some issues are simply not solvable.

Here is an example of a meeting filled with potential Rabbit Holes:

A solar company is presenting to a community which includes local farmers, city managers and representatives, neighbors to the proposed solar arrays, environmentalists, developers, and other members of the community.

A public meeting is called to address a zoning change to allow for solar arrays on historically agricultural land.

• A member of an environmental group speaks up about destruction of natural habitat.

• A farmer is furious about losing his beautiful rolling fields even though his farm is suffering financially.

• A neighbor worries about the noise from the transformers and possible health concerns.

• A school board member anticipates traffic disruption for school buses during construction.

ALL of these are valid worries! The concerns themselves not a problem.

These concerns become Rabbit Holes when:

• Technical facts may be misunderstood and explaining only sounds like defensiveness and condescension, further alienating the audience from the presenter and confirming biases. For example, digging into the weeds of some regulations, policies, specific studies, though pertinent, may not address the deeper, more emotional concerns.

• The concern brought forth from the audience is not the real issue, but is an underlying emotional response to change and loss. For example, the farmer might feel that they are betraying their ancestors who cultivated this land for generations. Or might feel they are admitting defeat or failure when the truth is the economy is moving from one industry to another. Or they might worry they will be seen as choosing big business from outside the community over loyalty to their community.

• The issue is vital, but can’t be addressed at this stage in the process. For example, it could be that worrying about bus routes at an early stage of development is putting the cart before the horse.

So, how do we proceed?

• PREPARE

  • First, we prepare by anticipating as many potential Rabbit Holes as possible. We put ourselves into the shoes of the groups and individuals and prepare honest and transparent responses.

• RECOGNIZE

  • Next, we train ourselves to recognize Rabbit Holes before we fall into them. Take a breath before responding. Ask a question to make sure that we understand the question and that is relevant now, answerable in the time allotted, and applies to the issue at hand.

• ACKNOWLEDGE

  • We make sure to ALWAYS acknowledge the concern, to respect that anyone showing up and speaking out deserves validation—afterall, our role as presenter/expert/outsider creates a power-dynamic that we must own.

• NOTICE OURSELVES

  • Watch for our own defensiveness. Remember that being defensive never resolves the issue.

  • If we have the Intention “to be right” or “to prove our point,” instead try, “to listen for deeper fears and meaning,” or “to acknowledge all concerns as valid.”

Then, if we see the question or concern as a potential Rabbit Hole here are a few helpful ways to respond:

YES/NO/YES

• (YES) Yes, I understand how the transformers and arrays bring up safety and health concerns.

• (NO) And we have lots of research to share. We don’t have the time today to get into the research we’ve done and the plans we’ve made to mitigate the impact, but…

• (YES) I’d love to meet any time to show you what we’ve learned and answer any questions. Can we meet briefly after the meeting and find a time?

INVITE THEM TO HELP

• You know, that is something we’ve been working on and we’d love your help as we find the best ways to mitigate destruction of any wildlife habitats (or to plan traffic detours that school buses are not delayed.) Can we invite you to join our environmental (or traffic mitigation) committee?

LISTEN

• Sometimes there is just no way to address a concern, especially if it is emotional. In these cases, the best and only thing to do is to acknowledge the facts, the truth of the matter, and listen. It’s hard to sit with pain or frustration. And even if the person demands action, sometimes there is simply nothing to be done. So the simple witnessing is all we can offer. And, oddly, just that gift can unstick us and we can move forward.

This week, notice Rabbit Holes and practice acknowledging, drawing clear boundaries, including poeple in the problem.