Raising the Stakes
Remember the urban legend of the mother picking up a VW Bug to save her baby? That act is pure intention with immediacy and high stakes. That mother’s action, thought, behavior, voice, and words are completely aligned. Her Big Why, her overarching purpose, may be to raise a healthy adult that will contribute to the world. Her immediate intention is simply to save her child. She is not thinking about herself, her own safety, what she might look like, or what others might think of her. Her focus on wholly on the child, the other. She takes immediate action in a matter of life and death. The highest stakes possible.
The above scenario has elements that we can translate into helpful tools for any speaker: role (mother), given circumstances (child under car), purpose (to care for this vulnerable human), intention (to save), immediacy (time-limit), and high-stakes (life or death).
In theater we understand that our portrayal of a character demands conscious choices to animate the text. When we ask ourselves, "does this scene/interaction have to happen right now (immediacy)?” the answer is always, yes. And when we ask ourselves if the scene/interaction is important to the character, the answer is always, yes, the stakes are high, it’s life or death. Always. If Lady Macbeth thought it would be just pretty groovy to be married to a king, the audience might leave at intermission. If Lady Macbeth knows that she will perish if she cannot have the power that only royalty can give her, we are riveted.
In theater, if we make a choice that has low stakes and lacks immediacy, and the play becomes mundane, the struggles banal, the characters listless and self-indulgent.
If we, as speakers, make a choice that lacks immediacy, the talk becomes interminable.
If we, as speakers, make a choice that has low stakes, the talk becomes unimportant and boring.
I did a play where my character was cruel to her best friend. The director asked the woman playing my friend why she remains loyal and kind. The actor said, “Because it’s always been this way and I’m used to it. My character has pulled away emotionally and doesn’t really care.” The director said, “Then, we don’t have a play. Please make a choice that raises the stakes. As high as possible. Why would you possibly put yourself in the same room with this awful person?” The actor thought…”Because I like her?” The director said, “Higher, much higher.” “Because I love her and can’t live without her.” Needless to say, the performance shifted viscerally in such a way that the entire story was heightened and the audience was swept up in the terrible dance of love and loss.
Next time we are asked to speak, whether a report-out to our team or a toast at a retirement party, make a choice to raise the stakes by asking ourselves:
What is at stake here? What will happen if I do not speak out? How can I raise the stakes so the others understand how vital this is for our company in the big picture? How can I connect what might feel mundane and boring to our company’s survival? How can I communicate just how vital this person has been to the well-being of our employees? How can I raise the stakes?