When I was in 5th grade at the Cincinnati School for Creative and Performing Arts, I got my dream role: one of the steps-sisters in the musical, “Cinderella.” I cannot express just how much I loved playing Joy. I loved my co-step-sister, Portia. I loved the two hours of makeup complete with fake nose lovingly applied by a teacher who looked just like Dolly Parton (Mrs. Tippetts?). And I LOVED my prop hand-mirror which would explode when I looked into it! One night, as I reached for the mirror, ready for my big bang moment, the mirror was not on stage! In character, I furiously, searched the stage, getting more and more frenzied, until I screeched, “CINDERELLA! Where is my mirror!” A stage-hand quickly thrust a black-sleeved arm out, I grabbed the mirror, it exploded with a loud flash and puff of smoke, and the show went on. To this day, I assiduously check my props. ..Read on.

Ineffable Quality: When I sit in the audience for certain events—plays, concerts, talks—I can feel the difference between a performer who makes me think, “Oh, wow! That is a great performer! What a virtuoso!” and a performer pulls me into the music, the story, who makes me feel part of something bigger. One performer awes me while another touches me. One singer elicits a gasp, “What a voice!” The next envelopes me in the beauty of the music. I marvel at one speaker and see things differently when the next has left the stage. This quality of communication can happen in many realms. A favorite story of my father’s was a description of a man passionately weeping…Read on

Many speakers come to me with a written text that they plan and hope to memorize. The first thing I do is take away the script and ask them to give me the talk right then and there without notes. Off the top of their head. I want to break up that love affair with their text as soon as possible. A memorized talk can be a barrier between the speaker and audience; the speaker’s focus remains on themselves and their text, remembering or forgetting certain lines and phrases. We then begin the work of deconstructing the talk back to what inspired it, reconnecting with its purpose and rhythms to get the speaker back to a sense of aliveness in delivery.

Exceptions to the Rule

Once in a great while, there are talks which invite or even demand word-for-word memorization. These talks are crafted, each word chosen, phrase-by-phrase, the words creating a melody. Maybe the speaker is a poet or spoken-word performer. Maybe the speaker is a writer who knows that the truest way to share what they’ve found, seen, felt, is with this exact language, punctuation, and orchestration; the exact word is the only word.

In these rare cases, the speaker spends weeks, hours, days, reciting until… Read on.

While training to be a facilitator at the Ariel Group, I noticed Belle and Kathy, the founders, would draw a line down the center the page to create two columns as they took notes on our work.

On the right they would take notes on “what’s working,” and on the left, “things to work on.”

This simple structure helped them, as trainers and coaches, do two things:

1) Consciously look for things that are working. Like spying a snake in the grass, our tendency is to scan for problems and things to fix. Consciously reminding ourselves to scan for what’s wonderful, what’s working, what is rare and precious in our fellow humans, in their writing, in their presentations, in their personal presence, in their communication, creativity, and leadership, does many things…read on for all five tips for giving feedback.

Do communicators really need to warm up their bodies and voices? Along with breathing, warming up is a place where I feel my clients question my methods. I understand! First, we look and sound really silly. So that’s not normal in an office. Second, nobody else does it, right? And we give talks, lead meetings, have Zoom calls all day long. Without warming up! So why do it?

When we communicate using our bodies, we do it better when our bodies are warmed up. Full stop. Think of an athlete. Would any athlete ever consider running onto the pitch, field, or court without warming up? Would any musician, ever, anywhere, not warm up? Would a singer, dancer, or actor step onto the stage or into the recording studio without warming up? Absolutely not. Why? Because their bodies are the vessels they depend upon to do their activity. And if that body is not ready, warm, practiced, present, there is no way that person can perform well. And guess what, your body is the vessel for your communication. Your posture, your breathe, your voice, your expression, all shift when you warm up. You become more alive, more present, more calm, your voice will be more resonant. Your presence will be more captivating. You will have more impact.

Why wouldn’t we give ourselves that advantage?

Read on for a link to a 3 minute video with a warmup you can do anywhere—in your car, at your desk, in a bathroom stall, anywhere.