The Audience is Our Raison d’Etre

Why do we communicate?

Sometimes, admittedly, we speak just to have a sense of self, as Harriet Lerner reminds us in her wonderful book, The Dance of Anger (more on that in another post). Sometimes we speak out-loud to figure something out—think of Hamlet’s “to be or not to be” soliloquy. But most of the time, we communicate to ignite a give-and-take, to be in relationship with the other, the audience, friend, partner, team.

We communicate because we are human and we thrive only when we have a sense of ourselves in relationship with others. Lack of human interaction, such as neglect in children and isolation in adults, correlates to everything from developmental delays and stunted growth, to premature mortality. Babies communicate immediately, noticing and mirroring the expressions of their caregivers.

We all need an audience, an ‘other.’ And when we stand up to deliver a eulogy, when we chat with the clerk in the grocery store, when we report-out on our annual fund-drive, we must do so with awareness, attention, intention, and generosity. We must include the audience. The audience is our raison d’etre, our reason to be.

Ask yourself:

• Who is this person? Group?

• What are their interests? Needs? Desires?

• How can I best include them?

• What gift can I give them?

This week, include your audience, remember that they are the reason we speak.