This week on NPR’s All Things Considered, I heard Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy talk about the newly released study, "Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation," which finds that “29% increased risk of heart disease; a 32% increased risk of stroke; and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults.” Dr. Murthy says that our goal is “to build a society that is deeply connected….We know that in-person interaction is what we’ve evolved for over thousands of years. We’ve learned to interpret not just the content of what someone’s saying but also the sound of their voice and their body language and when we lose a lot of that in text-based interactions, then that impacts the strength of the connections that we can form.” Dr. Murthy reminds us that we have a cure…Read on.

Have you ever been in a meeting or presentation where the topic of concern is derailed by just one question or issue? This is what I refer to as a “Rabbit Hole;” we are sucked into the vortex and the work that we hoped to accomplish vanishes along with our patience. Many of my clients experience Rabbit Holes when presenting to audiences with a variety of differing interests, often doused in strong emotions, and perhaps lacking the technical expertise of the presenters. To be clear, Rabbit Holes are part of every important negotiation! And the points that people bring up are valid…they just can’t necessarily be addressed and resolved in the allotted time. And some issues are simply not solvable. Here is an example of a meeting filled with potential Rabbit Holes…

Last week I wrote about how to find your natural voice vs. an affected, pushed, or “put on,” voice. Today, I’ve made, as promised, a very silly video illustrating exactly what I mean. Be prepared to see…Read on.

Recently, I spoke with Seth Barrish, an actor, director, teacher, and Co-Artistic Director of the Barrow Group. Seth’s teaching has influenced more than just my acting: his work has profoundly influenced my work as a communication coach and, perhaps most importantly, as a communicator. Seth uses techniques that seem to tease out truly human behavior in all its quirky glory. In my work with leaders, speakers, and communicators, I value the beauty of human imperfection and rely on the skills and techniques I learned in Seth’s class. Seth used the Conversation Exercise to help actors …Read on.

Sometimes I feel uprooted, unfocused, disconnected from myself and the world around me. This is not to be confused with seeing the big picture, reading the room from a role of leadership. As communicators, we have tools to reconnect, reground, re-focus, so that we can be embodied, present, and connect with others. Here are a few simple tools I use to ground myself…Read on.

Recently I saw Elvis Costello in concert. I can’t remember the last time I felt so treasured, so seen, so held by an artist. And, although he thinks that Charlottesville is in North Carolina, it felt like he had a special love for our small town. Mr. Costello got into town early that morning and spent the day…Read on.

Today I got the link to a TEDx Talk by the incomparable, C. Mitzi Sinnott: Trust Your Truth and Serve the World. The first time I watched it I was swept up in the stories, the beauty, the open-hearted generosity. I watched it again minutes later, noticing the skills and techniques she brings to her performance. And then again, just because…because I wanted to make sure I soaked in her deep, heartfelt message. I wanted to make sure I let myself be moved to action. Minutes later, I asked Mitzi if I could write this post and refer to her her talk to illustrate the techniques I have outlined in this blog. Below are a few of the skills and techniques…Read on.

I recently had to fill out a donation form offering a few sessions to a fundraiser. When it came to describing my offering, I realized I had never written up a description of what it’s like to work with me! Usually, I offer a 20 minute chat to see how I can help, make a first connection, and see if this feels like a good fit for both of us. For this non-profit gala, the “client” bids on sessions without having the benefit of hearing my voice, sharing their challenges, learning about how I work, making a personal connection. So this is what I wrote…Read on.

Most of us feel at least a few butterflies before we speak in public. Sometimes the butterflies are more like hammers in our chest. Some actors think they need a little anxiety to do their best and will “pump themselves up” before a performance. Some of us go straight into panic mode. One study suggests a strategy that reframes anxiety as excitement, as both have similar physiological manifestations. However we view or experience anxiety, as speakers, we want to make sure that we are in control, rather than being controlled by our anxiety. Simply doing the…Read on.

When we hear the phrase, “playing a role,” we often think of putting on a fake persona, being inauthentic. In reality, we show up in different roles all the time—we even wear different costumes for different roles! Think about dressing for work in a law office or at a restaurant—what would we wear for each? Think of what we wear to exercise vs. what we wear to a party—from shoes to hair, we change every aspect of our appearance. Parent, teacher, friend, partner, coach, presenter, leader, collaborator, moderator, health worker, therapist, community organizer, writer, artist, filmmaker, journalist, grandparent, representative, advisor, mentor, sibling, the list of roles we play, often daily, is inexhaustible. And none of these roles are inauthentic; we move from role to role seamlessly and constantly. Trouble arises when …Read on.

One of our kids’ favorite soccer coaches, Coach Erick, used to say, “I won the parking lot!” I asked what he meant by that and he said that he always parks in front of the other coach’s car. He knew that the game began in the parking lot, if only psychologically. And that psychological “win” set the stage for the game itself. He was in his role as coach from the moment he pulled his car into the lot. When does an event begin? When are we officially in the public role? Read on…

When working with theater director and actor, Deb Gottesman, we immediately spoke the same language: the language of the theater. Deb knows what goes into crafting a performance that sings. She knows just how much time and work it takes to prepare a piece so that it comes alive in front of an audience. The day we began, Deb told me that the organization she co-founded with Buzz Mauro, The Theater Lab, had its annual fundraiser a few weeks before our TEDx Charlottesville event. Deb asked to front-load her preparation so that she would have the weeks before the fundraiser to focus just on that. We mapped it out and…Read on.

I remember reading something by the great director, Peter Brook, warning that adding anything literal to a stage set, like running water or a gas stove, creates an expectation of reality that is fundamentally at odds with the magic of theater. Theatre demands a leap of faith. He said that when we have running water on stage, a pencil can no longer become a rocket. It can only be a pencil. This photo shows the set from Peter Brook’s production of Battlefield at ACT. Notice that the people, the actors, create the meaning of the abstract space; their actions make the space a place. It can be a battlefield, a temple, or a kitchen. The same is true for any human interaction. When people connect, no matter if it’s on a stage, in a boardroom, or…Read on.

“Never work with animals or children.” —W.C. Fields. Last week we talked about focusing our attention on the speaker while sharing the stage. Wise performers have always known that they will easily be upstaged by both children and animals. Why? Because children and animals do not know that they are performing. They are simply being. And that simple state—guileless, egoless, effortless and unexpected—is riveting. How can we be the cat? How can we have that ease and presence? Read on…

There’s an old joke about community theater. Imagine a group of young, scrubbed, overall-clad youngsters in a barn. One projects loudly, “We’ve got a barn! Let’s put on a show!” The others ad lib with big smiles, “Sure thing!” “I can build the sets with this old scrap wood!” “We can use this sheet for a backdrop!” “I can sew these old rags into costumes!” Then, all at once, the whole group stops talking, orients towards a kid standing on a hay bale, settles into varied comfortable but affected positions, and gazes expectantly. The kid on the hay bale launches into a monologue and/or song. This stereotypical trope from amateur theater is easy to satirize (Christopher Guest’s Waiting for Guffman does this with love). And I am not recommending that anyone do this on stage, exactly…but the truth is that the audience …Read on.

Last week we talked about letting the feel and sound of language guide us into meaning. We endeavored to revel in the visceral impact of language, specifically, the rough and raw words in the English language that come down from Old English or Anglo-Saxon, a language with no rhyme or reason. Silent Gs. H’s in odd places. Unlike Latin and the Romance Languages which sprung from its mathematical logic, Anglo-Saxon makes no sense in an intellectual way, but touches us with it’s chaos of guttural and evocative sounds. It’s easy to spot these words. They are unwieldy, often have mysterious spellings (“thought,” “phlegm,” “ghost”), and evoke emotions and images. Merriam Webster describes the Anglo-Saxon language as: “brief, forceful, and meaningful in expression; full of vigor, substance, or meaning; terse; forcible.” This week, we talk about crafting our own talks and presentations while inviting in…Read on.

Many years ago I studied Shakespeare at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art with a wise teacher, David Perry. My partner and I brought in the scene from Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream, where Titania and Oberon, the Queen and King of the Fairies, confront one another. We decided to play the scene with a sense of flirtation and provocation. I remember sprawling on a love seat backwards, legs in the air, while I fed myself long strands of red licorice. David watched the scene patiently. When we were done, he asked: “What makes you think Oberon and Titania …Read on.

Some times I love to hear just the voice, the simplest voice, tell a story. No embellishment so that my mind can create castles out of words. Sometimes I love a voice to play characters. Lynn Redgrave reading Cornelia Funke’s Inkheart is extraordinary. And on stage, when I can see the whole person, I love to see the story—not acted out, exactly, but “shown.” Miranda Hope told her story at our Charlottesville TEDx Open Mic and we asked her. ..Read on

“The charitable say in effect, 'I seem to have more than I need and you seem to have less than you need. I would like to share my excess with you.' Fine, if my excess is tangible, money or goods, and fine if not, for I learned that to be charitable with gestures and words can bring enormous joy and repair injured feelings.” ― Maya Angelou, “Letter to My Daughter” In this darkest time of the year, there is warmth, light, and loss. In the last two weeks, I have been witness to all of these. Many among us need to be held just now—those in crisis and those who surround them: the caretakers, the witnesses, the family, the community. When one person is in crisis, we are all in crisis and are called upon to support one another, to communicate care through act and word. A friend told me the story of a bundled and starlit holiday evening walk cut short when a car slid off of the road and into a tree. My friend slipped her shaking fingers out of her gloves to dial 911. The next day, my friend called her sister and cried and cried. Her sister, a nurse, knew what to do: listen and support. She said, “this is a Code Lavender.” Code Lavender comes out of the Cleveland Clinic to support their staff and “provides…Read on.

What would happen if we announced what we wanted? Out loud. Would the sky fall down? Would we stun people? Would we stun ourselves? Would relationships change? Would our lives move in a different direction? Why are we so reluctant to simply say what we want? Do we even know what we want? Announcing is not demanding or even asking, it’s just putting our wants into words. A statement. And yet…My mother was the kind of person who would stop on the highway to pick up garbage, who eschewed milk in plastic bottles, and re-used wrapping paper year after year. She also saved all of those pieces of cardboard the dry-cleaners used in men’s shirts in the 70s. Months after she died, I found myself in a room stacked with 61 boxes sent from her house in Cleveland. Boxes filled with photos, postcards, birth certificates, old passports. And one piece of dry-cleaner cardboard with her distinctive handwriting and the words…Read on.